Annabeth Joy's Birth Story

 

 

This pregnancy was without a doubt the worst of my four pregnancies. I’ve had issues with each one, but nothing like this one. I made a list shortly before she was born of everything that was terrible about this pregnancy, partially because I was feeling sorry for myself, and partially because I knew that IF I shared the list, it’d be nice for other moms (who aren’t loving being pregnant) to know that they aren’t alone! Here’s the list:

 Nausea

 Vomiting

 Heartburn

Placenta previa

No exercise allowed

No sex allowed

MRI

Panic attack during the MRI

Alone/away from my family for over a month

Possible hysterectomy

Contractions

 Infections

 Bedrest

Bleeding leading to a hospital stay

Pelvic pain

Bruised ribs

My first stretch marks ever

Lots of bloodwork and ultrasounds

 Varicose veins

 Vertical c-section

Melasma

Constipation

Hemorrhoids

 Anxiety

Worry

Fear

Panic

Loneliness

And that was just before the traumatic birth! Needless to say, I did not enjoy this pregnancy in the least. I loved feeling my baby move around, and knowing that she had hiccups a lot, but that was pretty much the only fun part! Now, for the birth story…
I found out when I was just 20 weeks pregnant that I had placenta previa, which basically means that your placenta is blocking the way for your baby to be delivered naturally. The placenta is also fairly delicate if it is complete previa (which mine was), and bleeding (due to pressure put on the placenta) can occur at any time. I was told to take it easy and that I should be very limited in what I do. No more exercise, no more physical intimacy, no more lifting children up, just rest.

At 26 weeks, I got a very bad double infection, which, when paired with the heat of Varanasi in the summer (110-115*) resulted in very painful, very real contractions. We had already been told by our medical personnel that it was advisable to go to Delhi early, so when that happened, we knew it would be better for me to be close to good medical care. I came to Delhi when I was just 27 weeks along. That meant me being away from my family for over a month. The doctor told me to be resting, and that I wasn’t to do any work at all. Some days were great-sleeping in, eating whatever I wanted (because there is so much more variety here than in our city!), watching Netflix, and reading. But some days were super lonely. Also, I had another ultrasound done, hoping the placenta had shifted, but finding out that it hadn’t. That mean that a c-section was inevitable. Also, because of how big my placenta was, they would have to do a vertical incision instead of the more-appealing horizontal incision. ALSO, they were concerned that it had imbedded itself into my uterus, which could cause heavy bleeding and need for a hysterectomy. I heard all of these things while I was away from my family, and it was one of the more difficult days of my life. I’m so thankful that a friend of mine, also staying in Delhi to birth a baby, was with me and able to encourage and support me. I went to get an MRI done to confirm whether or not the placenta had imbedded itself, and while I was in the MRI machine I had a panic attack because of all of the stress and emotions I was dealing with. The MRI results showed that my placenta had not imbedded (praise God!), but I was still a wreck.

After my family arrived in Delhi (at 31 weeks), it was great to have everyone back together again, but so exhausting. Kyle did most of the work, and the kids helped A LOT, but it was still so draining for me. It was also a worrisome time, because I feared that something would happen to me before my mother-in-law arrived, and I didn’t know what I would do with my kids. Sure enough, it did. I started bleeding, which I had been warned may happen, and headed straight to the hospital with my husband and kids. The same friend who went with me to my MRI ended up watching my kids (along with her own 5, including a 1-week old baby) for that day, and then another friend who was 37 weeks pregnant watched them the next day. I felt so terrible that my friends were taking on so much, but thankful they were there. I was in the hospital for 3 days, and the doctor said that this episode was the warning, and that next time would be much more bleeding. I was put on strict bedrest (and was bored out of my mind!).

2 weeks later, my mother-in-law arrived, and I praised God! At least that fear of what to do with kids was no longer a stressor. Annabeth’s C-section was scheduled for 5 days later, at 36 weeks gestation. At that point, the dangers of a placental abruption outweigh the dangers of the 36 week preemie, so the doctor said that is as far as we should take our pregnancy. After asking several doctors and medical professionals in the States, they agreed with this ‘course of action’ and we were at peace with the plan.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go according to that plan. On July 21, just 2 days before our scheduled C-section, we were all sitting doing our nightly Bible time. I felt 2 gushes, and didn’t know whether it was fluid or blood. I slipped away to the bathroom to find that I was gushing blood profusely. I yelled at Kyle, who came in and saw blood all over me, told Mimi to put the kids to bed, grabbed my hospital bag, and escorted me downstairs to the car. Kyle drove like a madman, driving through every red light and laying on his horn the entire time we were in the car (10-15 minutes). I called my doctor, who I’ve called many times before with no issue or delay, only to have a 4 year old answer the phone over and over. I tried to tell him to give the phone to his mom or grandma, but he just kept hanging up on me. “You’ve got to be kidding me! This can’t be happening right now!” were the only words I could find! I called the hospital and told them I was coming and bleeding a lot. The doctor called me back about 2 minutes before I reached the hospital and I filled her in. The hospital was ready for me when I got there and I went straight up to L&D. Thankfully, it was Sunday night, so there weren’t any patients in the lobby.

As soon as I got upstairs, I started bleeding even more heavily, with large pieces of placenta flowing out. I told Kyle and the nurses that I was blacking out and closed my eyes. I was also having a hard time breathing, but I think that was just from the shock of what was actually happening. A few minutes later, the anesthesiologist came in and took me to the OT for the epidural. She was so calm and kind. I am so thankful she was there. Honestly, the nurses’ faces all looked afraid, and hers was the only face that was telling me I was going to be okay.

As soon as my doctor arrived (just a few minutes later), she looked at Kyle and said, “we need to do this very quickly.” Suddenly, I was being strapped to the operating table, the curtain was pulled up so I couldn’t see, and there were 10-15 people in the room: 4 doctors, a handful of nurses, the anesthesiologist, and a man who we were told may or may not ‘get on top of me to push the baby out.’ What?!? Whatever, I totally did not care at that point. My doctor was amazing, safely delivering my sweet baby and my horrendous (and ginormous) placenta in just a few minutes. And yes, the man did get over me and push the baby out! The entire thing was totally painless, which I’m very thankful for. I even told my doctor while she was delivering that she was “doing such a good job.” The epidural brought out the cheerleader in me!

I heard my sweet baby cry, and asked Kyle what it was. He inquired of the pediatrician, who said it was a girl. They brought her over to us and I got to cuddle her next to my face for just about 30 seconds. It was so wonderful! She was okay! I was okay! Then, she was whisked away to evaluate. I didn’t see her again for 12 hours. That’s a terrible, terrible experience as a mother- to have a child taken from your womb and not have access to them for so long.

 

 

As this story is long enough already, I’ll cut down our week in the NICU to just a few sentences. Annabeth had difficulty breathing on her own, so she was put onto the CPAP for breathing assistance. She was much stronger about 3 days later, but because they had to wean her off of the CPAP and tube-feedings and make sure she successfully breathed and breastfed on her own, we ended up being in the NICU for 7 days total. It was not a great NICU experience, as we continued to have to battle nurses and security guards to spend time with our own child even when policies dictated time allowed that the nurses and guards were not allowing us to have. The upside, however, was that we made several friends with moms and dads of other preemies in the NICU. We were able to share the Hope that we have because of Christ and be an encouragement to them as they walk through their journeys in the NICU. We are still praying for some of them and their little ones, as many of them have a much longer stay than we had.

We are home now and doing so well! Annabeth loves to sleep, has hiccups often, and her siblings LOVE her! Kisses, hugs, and lots of baby-holding! She’s a wonderful addition to our family, and we are so thankful to God for her!

 

When trying to decide on names, Kyle and I had a hard time agreeing! The criterion were: a Bible name that wasn’t easily shortened that didn’t start with C, N, or R. While our family was split between Nepal and India (just before I came to Delhi), I read the story of Mary and Joseph bringing Jesus to the temple to dedicate Him. In the story, 2 older people are there waiting for the promised Savior to come. They had hope in knowing from God that the Savior would come soon. Anna had lived at the temple most of her life, and Simeon had waited eagerly for quite some time. As soon as Jesus arrived, they were both filled with joy at the sight of their Savior. I LOVE THAT! They were filled with joy because of Jesus and the hope that they had in Him. For that reason and this story, our girl name was Annabeth Joy and our boy name was Simeon Jehoshua. Annabeth means “full of grace” and Joy is self-explanatory! We added the Beth because it’s pretty, but it’s in the Bible also (part of Elizabeth, and beth means “place of,” so we could say that her name means a place full of grace.)

Thanks for reading, for praying for us during this long and difficult pregnancy, and for sharing in our happiness as we welcome Annabeth to our family! Praise be to God!

 

 

Perceptions Can Be Deceiving

Meet Pregnant Peggy. She's (mostly) happily pregnant with her 4th kid and comfortable with her growing belly.

Now meet Suck-It-In Sally. She's pregnant, but sucking in her belly, either because she doesn't like it, or because she wants people to say things like, "Oh, my goodness, you look so tiny! You'd never know you were pregnant!"

And here is Stick-It-Out Sandy. She chose to stick her belly out as far as she could so that she would look as pregnant as she possibly could. 

Okay, those of you who are thinking I've gone crazy, I'm not quite there yet... bear with me!

Looks- and perceptions- can be deceiving. I took all 3 of these pictures in the same minute of one another, because I have seen people do all of these things. And we, as observers, think differently when we see differently. "That woman must be so fit and athletic." "That woman must be really tired." "That woman must be carrying twins." 

Oftentimes, this can be just as true for our spiritual lives as it is for our physical bodies. I recently returned from a time with other like-minded believers who also live overseas. In the last 6 years of living overseas, I have developed friendships with many of these people, and I enjoy catching up with them at meetings like this one. So many times throughout the week, one is asked, "how are you doing?" or "how have things been going?" and this year, I could honestly answer that I am happy, at a good place in life, and things are going well. But, it is really easy to put on a mask and give an easy, albeit untruthful, answer. I've done it! I've gone to similar meetings when was in a TERRIBLE place. Hating marriage. Hating India. Hating feeling unsuccessful. Hating... well, let's just say that not all of my days here have been peachy! 

What I'm getting at is this. We can look at someone and think something about them. "She's doing such great work where she is at." "Her kids are so calmed and well-behaved." "She's so pretty." "Her house is always clean." But my challenge to you is to get real with her- really get in her life. My most valued friendships are with those few friends who, instead of saying "how are you?", ask me things like, "how's marriage?", "how have your quiet times been?", "how are you doing with trusting others?" They have invested enough time to know what to ask me, and they aren't afraid to do so. I LOVE IT! I had a sweet friend ask me recently what Kyle and I do together for fun, and I told her I couldn't really think of anything. Then, she told me I needed to talk to him about that, and I did because she encouraged me to! That's a true friend! I'm thankful for friends who have dug deep in my messiness to love me and help me grow closer to Jesus.

Don't assume someone is okay, even if they say there are. Get to know where they are really at, probing if needed, love them where they are, and encourage them in their walk with God. And be thankful to God when He puts others in your life who will do the same to you!

Guest Blogger: Ezekiel and the Dry Bones

I was sitting with my friend, Heather, sipping coffee in her home while my kids played in her backyard. We caught up for several hours, and during that time, she shared this story with me. I asked her if she would share it, and she was happy to oblige. Thanks, Heather!

Our church was struggling.  Leaders and members were disgruntled and leaving.  Our elders were aware of tough issues and hurt feelings, and were making long-term plans.  But long-term plans take a long time to plan and carry out.  My heart ached Sunday after Sunday, weekday after weekday, at the unmet possibilities of all the Godly people who were in our church, and of how difficult it had become to go there to worship our Lord.

One option the elders worked towards was a merge with a young, growing church which had been started a few years past out of a Bible study from our church.  Familial and spiritual relationships thrived between members of the two churches.  Reading Ezekiel 36:36-38, I began praying these verses for our church, as the verses themselves seemed to invite:

“Then the nations that are left all around you shall know that I am the LORD; I have rebuilt the ruined places and replanted that which was desolate.  I am the LORD: I have spoken, and I will do it.  Thus says the LORD GOD; this also I will let the house of Israel ask me to do for them:  to increase their people like a flock.  Like the flock for sacrifices, like the flock at Jerusalem during her appointed feasts, so shall the waste cities be filled with flocks of people.  Then they will know that I am the LORD.”

The verses following this passage tell an amazing story of Ezekiel being taken to a burial valley, full of dry, human bones.  But God asked Him “Can these bones live?”  Unlike mine might, Ezekiel’s answer didn’t include a plan for God of HOW to raise them!  He simply answered “O Lord GOD, you know.”  Then God raised the bones and gave them life!

This seemed perfect to me!  I felt as if we were a nearly dead church, and I wanted God to bring us instantly to life as He did with the dry bones!  All He had to do was bring the other church into our midst!  Just as Jerusalem would be normal nearly all year, the three annual feasts would bring men, women, children and animals from all around the country to worship God.  The city went from normal to overflowing in only a few days!  The flocks greatly multiplied because people would bring their animals to sacrifice to God.  This is what I wanted for our church—from normal to bustling and overflowing with only a vote from the churches!  

But God had other plans.  The vote did not pass, and our churches did not merge.  Bitterness deepened.  Hopelessness appeared.  God had to remind me many, many times that He is sovereign, and in control even of church votes.  

And He continued to speak to me through Ezekiel.  I admit, it did take me a few months to return to praying from this passage.  He reminded me that when I first read the words, “This also I will let the house of Israel ask me to do for them:  to increase their people like a flock,” He had allowed me to pray for Him to increase our people like a flock.  But He hadn’t told me He’d let me choose HOW.  So I continue to pray.

Two years later, the children’s Sunday morning lesson was Ezekiel 37.  Reading and meditating on the passage for the lesson, the Holy Spirit showed me important details I had missed:  the bones revived, and came to life, but in steps!  First, Ezekiel prophesied, then the bones came together, then sinews came over the bones, then skins covered the insides.  But they were not breathing.  God and Ezekiel both spoke again before God’s breath came into the bodies and “they lived and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army.”

Amazed, I could only kneel down, cry and worship God, because I easily could see steps He had taken in our church family.  We are now united, as if the bones have come together.  He is healing our minds and hearts and spirits like the sinews.  He is setting up new church structure and methods.  He has shifted authorities in the body.  And He is even adding young, new life to our fellowship!  I look forward to worshipping Him with others again!  

Ezekiel and the skeletons continue to remind me tangibly of what God is doing spiritually and physically in our church body.  Praise to God, who continues to work in our church body, and who does not give up His work in me, either.  I hope and pray to trust Him more tomorrow and each day after, because He and His plans are trustworthy.

~Heather Neumann 

Corinth's Surgery

Of course I am biased. I am her mother. She is my first-born. But I really do think she is adorable. She is quirky, friendly, super-smart, and beautiful. Where we live, she's like a little 4-year-old movie star. People always want photos with her! I suppose a bit of my pride of being her mother came from the fact that I really thought she was a gorgeous tiny girl. Then, 1 week before her third birthday, her eyes suddenly and drastically crossed. On Monday, her eyes were normal. On Wednesday, I mentioned to my husband that something didn't look right with her eyes. And on Friday, her eyes were completely crossed. She and her dad travelled to the capital to get an evaluation of what was going on. She came home 5 days later wearing glasses. 

1 1/2 years later was last week. My sweet 4 1/2 year old had surgery on both of her eyes to correct the lazy eye. The doctor is great and the surgery went well. What I didn't know is that her lazy eye is caused by two things. First, the muscles in both eyes were too tight. The doctor loosened them and fixed that issue. The second issue is that she is extremely farsighted. A normal farsightedness (is that a word?!) for her age is up to a 3. She is a 5 on one side and a 5.5 on the other. For that reason, her eyes work so hard to compensate for the farsightedness that they cross. With glasses, this issue will also be fixed.

Please pray for Corinth. She's a super awesome girl. She doesn't think anything of wearing glasses. However, people are sometimes very unkind. Especially where we live, people often ask why she has glasses, what's wrong with her eyes, what happened, etc. I know they don't mean any harm, but I never want Corinth to feel sad. I still think she is absolutely beautiful! God is good. He makes different people in different ways, and I want to value and celebrate the ways God has made Corinth unique. Love on her, pray for her, and say hi next time you see her!

 

The 50 States of 'Murica

Well, my goal was to do a blog a week. So, now that it's February, I guess I should get started with the year! 😛

 

Before we headed back to America, I wrote the tourism office of all of the 50 states of America, explaining that we live abroad and I was hoping to teach my kids a bit about America while we were stateside, and would love any fun stuff they could send us. We got lots of great responses. I also let them know that I'd write about what they sent, so here we go!

 

P.S. Get excited about a guest blogger coming soon! (I'm excited!)

 

All of these states sent us maps, magazines of tourist destinations, and/or brochures about state parks:

 

• Arkansas
• California
• Colorado
• Delaware
• Kansas
• Kentucky
• Maine
• Maryland
• Mississippi
• Missouri
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New York
• North Dakota
• Oklahoma
• Pennsylvania
• South Dakota
• Utah
• Virginia
• Wisconsin
• Wyoming

On top of that, these awesome states went above and beyond with some extra goodies! (Starting top left in the picture)

 

• Kansas- Good job Sunflower state! Fun things for my kiddos, including a series of 'Fun Facts' pamphlets, Fun Folder, 2 coloring books with crayons, and a package of sunflower seeds.
• Delaware- Someone put extra effort into printing out the kid-friendly info for their state and put it into a fun packet for easy-reading.
• New York- Activity Book, Trivia Book, bumper sticker, and 2 I<3NY buttons. Score!!!
• North Dakota- Fun poster that looks like a license plate.
• Mississippi- Postcards. Corinth and Noah will love sending these to friends!
• Wyoming- Bookmarks from a bookmark program their state did- cute!
• Maryland- A series of pamphlets on major historical events that happened in Maryland. Nicely done.
• Missouri- More postcards they'll enjoy sending!
• Wyoming- Fun, retro-style bumper stickers (one of which my husband claimed and put on his journal before the kids even got to see the goods).
• Nebraska- Another fun postcard!

Last, but opposite of least, is the great state of my birthplace. And not just because it is my birthplace, but because they are genuinely awesome people (every citizen, actually!). Way to go

 

OKLAHOMA!!!

 

(Boomer!) Not only does Oklahoma obviously have awesome graphic designers, but they sent a bajillion pamphlets for fun stuff to do in Oklahoma! You should go, and say hi to all of my extended family while you're there!

 

 

Thank you to all of the states who participated. Go do fun things wherever you live- there is LOTS of world to see! Enjoy!

Awesomeness in America

My prayer before we came home is that I would not make America an idol in my heart and in how I talk around my husband and my kids. We have been back for 1 week now and, while I think it has successfully not become an idol, I must admit that being home has been awesome! Here are some highlights (in no particular order)!

1. The backie garden. This is what Noah calls the backyard about 100 times a day when he asks to go out and it is GREAT! I love letting them go play outside and run around without fear of anything. Corinth didn't want to go the first day because she was afraid of the monkeys. She told Gran, "we can't go outside because monkeys might come." After Gran convinced her we don't have monkeys, she was so happy to play outside. It's GREAT!

2. Church. Kyle and I were admittedly a bit nervous about being thrown back into church after being in such a different world for so long, but it was wonderful. Seeing people from my childhood church and getting lots of hugs, seeing my mom sing in the choir, singing old songs I grew up singing, and hearing my hubby preach. All great things!

3. Being around family. Nothing like it, and will always be the thing I miss most about living abroad and the thing I love the most about being home.

4. The public library. Its total brain candy for everyone in the family!

5. Packaged food. Now, I would not generally consider myself lazy, but I can prepare a meal (I intentionally did NOT use the word 'cook') in like 15 minutes by opening packages and warming them up, and I find it strangely exciting. In a lazy sort of way. :-)

6. The playground. I love walking down the street and watching my kids play at the park. I feel so much like a mom (in a good way!) with 2 kids imagining on the playground and a baby strolling in a stroller. Heart. Full.

7. Running. I LOVE RUNNING!!!! And I can go without my phone and before the break of dawn and not be fearful. It's great! (But, after not running the last several months of pregnancy, I'm quite sore...)

8. People. They are so nice! The lady in the refrigerated section of Walmart is nice. The people letting me go before them while driving are nice. The librarian is nice. The checkout girl at the grocery store is nice. The toll-tag lady is nice. Pretty much every person I've interacted with is nice. Pretty much every American is nice. Right?! :-)

9. There are Indian people everywhere!!! I mean EVERYWHERE!!! I wore a kurta on Sunday and when I was at Costco a worker asked me why I was wearing his country's clothing. I told him I live there, and ended up having a 10 minute conversation with him in Hindi. It was so fun!

10. Driving. Glorious! I don't even mind that I'm driving a broken, 20 year old, total high-wasted-jeans-mom minivan. I'm rollin'.

Thanks for reading! Tune in for more soon!
 

I live in Bible times!

We live in a country that is developing. We live in a city that is NOT. It is stuck, and the people here kind of like it that way- in fact, most people in the city consider it "preserving the ancient culture." Because of that, I could make a list of literally hundreds of things I hate about where we live. I have often thought about making this list, but God has somehow kept me from doing so. However, there are also many things that are good about the city not advancing, one of which is that, after living here for 3 years, I understand the Bible so much more. For so many reasons. I understand the stories about people having their feet washed upon arrival into a home because my feet really are that dirty when I get to people's houses sometimes. I understand what the place where Jesus was born was like because I walk by similar cattle stalls on the way to my friends' homes. I understand the men casting their nets, because I see it every time we go to the river, which is part of why our city is famous. I understand the Samaritans and outcasts because the caste system is so prevalent in our area. I understand the familial situation where the wife, often very young (15-18 even) lives with her in-laws in a strange, new land, very far from her family. I understand the temple Pharisees, though the idol worshipped inside is different here than in the temple of Biblical times. I understand the call to take care of the widowed and poor because nearly every time I go out, I pass by beggars asking for food or money. I am sometimes able to help, and sometimes only able to give a smile of hope and God's love. I understand every verse that refers to sowing, reaping, harvesting, planting, etc. because much of our work is in villages, and our friends in those places are farmers whose lives depend on the crops that they reap. The scenes of the Bible come to life as I read them, because oftentimes I can put my local community right into the story and picture it playing out. This may not seem of much importance to you, but I'm very thankful that God has opened my eyes in this way. I may have many things I don't like about where I live, but I get to understand God's word in a way I never could have otherwise, and for that, I am thankful. God's methods are funny sometimes, but I'll take the blessing any way I can get it! :-)