This pregnancy was without a doubt the worst of my four
pregnancies. I’ve had issues with each one, but nothing like this one. I made a
list shortly before she was born of everything that was terrible about this
pregnancy, partially because I was feeling sorry for myself, and partially
because I knew that IF I shared the list, it’d be nice for other moms (who
aren’t loving being pregnant) to know that they aren’t alone! Here’s the list:
Nausea
Vomiting
Heartburn
Placenta previa
No exercise allowed
No sex allowed
MRI
Panic attack during the MRI
Alone/away from my family for over a month
Possible hysterectomy
Contractions
Infections
Bedrest
Bleeding leading to a hospital stay
Pelvic pain
Bruised ribs
My first stretch marks ever
Lots of bloodwork and ultrasounds
Varicose veins
Vertical c-section
Melasma
Constipation
Hemorrhoids
Anxiety
Worry
Fear
Panic
Loneliness
And that was just before the traumatic birth! Needless to say, I did not enjoy this pregnancy in the least. I loved feeling my baby move around, and knowing that she had hiccups a lot, but that was pretty much the only fun part! Now, for the birth story…
I found out when I was just 20 weeks pregnant that I had placenta previa, which basically means that your placenta is blocking the way for your baby to be delivered naturally. The placenta is also fairly delicate if it is complete previa (which mine was), and bleeding (due to pressure put on the placenta) can occur at any time. I was told to take it easy and that I should be very limited in what I do. No more exercise, no more physical intimacy, no more lifting children up, just rest.
At 26 weeks, I got a very bad double infection, which, when
paired with the heat of Varanasi in the summer (110-115*) resulted in very
painful, very real contractions. We had already been told by our medical
personnel that it was advisable to go to Delhi early, so when that happened, we
knew it would be better for me to be close to good medical care. I came to
Delhi when I was just 27 weeks along. That meant me being away from my family
for over a month. The doctor told me to be resting, and that I wasn’t to do any
work at all. Some days were great-sleeping in, eating whatever I wanted (because
there is so much more variety here than in our city!), watching Netflix, and
reading. But some days were super lonely. Also, I had another ultrasound done,
hoping the placenta had shifted, but finding out that it hadn’t. That mean that
a c-section was inevitable. Also, because of how big my placenta was, they
would have to do a vertical incision instead of the more-appealing horizontal
incision. ALSO, they were concerned that it had imbedded itself into my uterus,
which could cause heavy bleeding and need for a hysterectomy. I heard all of
these things while I was away from my family, and it was one of the more
difficult days of my life. I’m so thankful that a friend of mine, also staying
in Delhi to birth a baby, was with me and able to encourage and support me. I
went to get an MRI done to confirm whether or not the placenta had imbedded
itself, and while I was in the MRI machine I had a panic attack because of all
of the stress and emotions I was dealing with. The MRI results showed that my
placenta had not imbedded (praise God!), but I was still a wreck.
After my family arrived in Delhi (at 31 weeks), it was great
to have everyone back together again, but so exhausting. Kyle did most of the
work, and the kids helped A LOT, but it was still so draining for me. It was
also a worrisome time, because I feared that something would happen to me
before my mother-in-law arrived, and I didn’t know what I would do with my
kids. Sure enough, it did. I started bleeding, which I had been warned may
happen, and headed straight to the hospital with my husband and kids. The same
friend who went with me to my MRI ended up watching my kids (along with her own
5, including a 1-week old baby) for that day, and then another friend who was
37 weeks pregnant watched them the next day. I felt so terrible that my friends
were taking on so much, but thankful they were there. I was in the hospital for
3 days, and the doctor said that this episode was the warning, and that next
time would be much more bleeding. I was put on strict bedrest (and was bored
out of my mind!).
2 weeks later, my mother-in-law arrived, and I praised God!
At least that fear of what to do with kids was no longer a stressor. Annabeth’s
C-section was scheduled for 5 days later, at 36 weeks gestation. At that point,
the dangers of a placental abruption outweigh the dangers of the 36 week
preemie, so the doctor said that is as far as we should take our pregnancy.
After asking several doctors and medical professionals in the States, they
agreed with this ‘course of action’ and we were at peace with the plan.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go according to that plan. On
July 21, just 2 days before our scheduled C-section, we were all sitting doing
our nightly Bible time. I felt 2 gushes, and didn’t know whether it was fluid
or blood. I slipped away to the bathroom to find that I was gushing blood
profusely. I yelled at Kyle, who came in and saw blood all over me, told Mimi
to put the kids to bed, grabbed my hospital bag, and escorted me downstairs to
the car. Kyle drove like a madman, driving through every red light and laying
on his horn the entire time we were in the car (10-15 minutes). I called my
doctor, who I’ve called many times before with no issue or delay, only to have
a 4 year old answer the phone over and over. I tried to tell him to give the
phone to his mom or grandma, but he just kept hanging up on me. “You’ve got to
be kidding me! This can’t be happening right now!” were the only words I could
find! I called the hospital and told them I was coming and bleeding a lot. The
doctor called me back about 2 minutes before I reached the hospital and I
filled her in. The hospital was ready for me when I got there and I went
straight up to L&D. Thankfully, it was Sunday night, so there weren’t any
patients in the lobby.
As soon as I got upstairs, I started bleeding even more
heavily, with large pieces of placenta flowing out. I told Kyle and the nurses
that I was blacking out and closed my eyes. I was also having a hard time
breathing, but I think that was just from the shock of what was actually
happening. A few minutes later, the anesthesiologist came in and took me to the
OT for the epidural. She was so calm and kind. I am so thankful she was there.
Honestly, the nurses’ faces all looked afraid, and hers was the only face that
was telling me I was going to be okay.
As soon as my doctor arrived (just a few minutes later), she
looked at Kyle and said, “we need to do this very quickly.” Suddenly, I was
being strapped to the operating table, the curtain was pulled up so I couldn’t
see, and there were 10-15 people in the room: 4 doctors, a handful of nurses,
the anesthesiologist, and a man who we were told may or may not ‘get on top of
me to push the baby out.’ What?!? Whatever, I totally did not care at that
point. My doctor was amazing, safely delivering my sweet baby and my horrendous
(and ginormous) placenta in just a few minutes. And yes, the man did get over
me and push the baby out! The entire thing was totally painless, which I’m very
thankful for. I even told my doctor while she was delivering that she was
“doing such a good job.” The epidural brought out the cheerleader in me!
I heard my sweet baby cry, and asked Kyle what it was. He inquired
of the pediatrician, who said it was a girl. They brought her over to us and I
got to cuddle her next to my face for just about 30 seconds. It was so
wonderful! She was okay! I was okay! Then, she was whisked away to evaluate. I
didn’t see her again for 12 hours. That’s a terrible, terrible experience as a
mother- to have a child taken from your womb and not have access to them for so
long.
As this story is long enough already, I’ll cut down our week
in the NICU to just a few sentences. Annabeth had difficulty breathing on her
own, so she was put onto the CPAP for breathing assistance. She was much
stronger about 3 days later, but because they had to wean her off of the CPAP
and tube-feedings and make sure she successfully breathed and breastfed on her
own, we ended up being in the NICU for 7 days total. It was not a great NICU
experience, as we continued to have to battle nurses and security guards to
spend time with our own child even when policies dictated time allowed that the
nurses and guards were not allowing us to have. The upside, however, was that
we made several friends with moms and dads of other preemies in the NICU. We
were able to share the Hope that we have because of Christ and be an
encouragement to them as they walk through their journeys in the NICU. We are
still praying for some of them and their little ones, as many of them have a
much longer stay than we had.
We are home now and doing so well! Annabeth loves to sleep, has
hiccups often, and her siblings LOVE her! Kisses, hugs, and lots of
baby-holding! She’s a wonderful addition to our family, and we are so thankful
to God for her!
When trying to decide on names, Kyle and I had a hard time agreeing! The criterion were: a Bible name that wasn’t easily shortened that didn’t start with C, N, or R. While our family was split between Nepal and India (just before I came to Delhi), I read the story of Mary and Joseph bringing Jesus to the temple to dedicate Him. In the story, 2 older people are there waiting for the promised Savior to come. They had hope in knowing from God that the Savior would come soon. Anna had lived at the temple most of her life, and Simeon had waited eagerly for quite some time. As soon as Jesus arrived, they were both filled with joy at the sight of their Savior. I LOVE THAT! They were filled with joy because of Jesus and the hope that they had in Him. For that reason and this story, our girl name was Annabeth Joy and our boy name was Simeon Jehoshua. Annabeth means “full of grace” and Joy is self-explanatory! We added the Beth because it’s pretty, but it’s in the Bible also (part of Elizabeth, and beth means “place of,” so we could say that her name means a place full of grace.)
Thanks for reading, for praying for us during this long and
difficult pregnancy, and for sharing in our happiness as we welcome Annabeth to
our family! Praise be to God!
