Be forewarned, this is not a heartwarming, happy post. This is a post of frustration.
In South Asia (at least in our country), pregnancy is not something you show off. It is not something you show that you are excited about to strangers, and usually, strangers are not excited for you. I was told by friends who used to live in our city that because our city is so traditional, she really didn't go out as much after she started showing in her pregnancy because people scolded her and told her it wasn't appropriate for her to be out. (By the way, women usually start showing around 5 months, so that means for 5 months she didn't go out very much.) For this reason, I'm glad we aren't in our city right now. The city we went to for language was much more modern, but I still had women (Christian women!) tell me that I should cover up and drape a dupatta (like a long scarf) over my belly "if I need to go out" to "hide the fact that I'm pregnant." That really irritated me. I have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is nothing wrong with the fact that I'm pregnant. I thought, "surely in the capital it will be different." Nope. Every time I go out, men stare at me/ look me up and down over and over, and I have, on multiple occasions, see women whispering with their other female friends about me.
By the end of this week, it's supposed to hit 100 degrees here. That makes going out difficult in itself. We walk to get all of our food and necessities. We also have to walk to get an auto or take the metro to go to other parts of the city for pretty much anything we do. 100 degrees + 9 months pregnant + walking = difficult. Add to that the fact that every time I go out is an emotional ride because of the judgment of everyone around me, and that's a recipe for disaster. Okay, not disaster, but depression, anxiety, and frustration.
My first pregnancy, everyone I knew and met was so excited for me. I heard, "you're such a cute pregnant lady" A LOT, I was thrown something like 6 showers, which I totally loved and appreciated, and I felt so beautiful in maternity clothes- like more beautiful than I felt when I wasn't pregnant. Here, I have no compliments (except when I rarely run into an American friend here!), I have no showers, and the clothes I wear are basically like moo-moos. I'm pretty sure no one has ever felt pretty in a moo-moo!
I do not write any of this for pity. Pity doesn't really help anything anyway. I just wanted my friends and family to know this because I need your prayers, and I need your encouragement. I also need you all to know that we have struggles here. I don't want to post about all of them all the time or you would probably just pool your money together to buy us one-way tickets back home. But struggles are real and deep here, so I needed to share this one with you. Thanks for reading, and thanks even more for praying. Love you all!
In South Asia (at least in our country), pregnancy is not something you show off. It is not something you show that you are excited about to strangers, and usually, strangers are not excited for you. I was told by friends who used to live in our city that because our city is so traditional, she really didn't go out as much after she started showing in her pregnancy because people scolded her and told her it wasn't appropriate for her to be out. (By the way, women usually start showing around 5 months, so that means for 5 months she didn't go out very much.) For this reason, I'm glad we aren't in our city right now. The city we went to for language was much more modern, but I still had women (Christian women!) tell me that I should cover up and drape a dupatta (like a long scarf) over my belly "if I need to go out" to "hide the fact that I'm pregnant." That really irritated me. I have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is nothing wrong with the fact that I'm pregnant. I thought, "surely in the capital it will be different." Nope. Every time I go out, men stare at me/ look me up and down over and over, and I have, on multiple occasions, see women whispering with their other female friends about me.
By the end of this week, it's supposed to hit 100 degrees here. That makes going out difficult in itself. We walk to get all of our food and necessities. We also have to walk to get an auto or take the metro to go to other parts of the city for pretty much anything we do. 100 degrees + 9 months pregnant + walking = difficult. Add to that the fact that every time I go out is an emotional ride because of the judgment of everyone around me, and that's a recipe for disaster. Okay, not disaster, but depression, anxiety, and frustration.
My first pregnancy, everyone I knew and met was so excited for me. I heard, "you're such a cute pregnant lady" A LOT, I was thrown something like 6 showers, which I totally loved and appreciated, and I felt so beautiful in maternity clothes- like more beautiful than I felt when I wasn't pregnant. Here, I have no compliments (except when I rarely run into an American friend here!), I have no showers, and the clothes I wear are basically like moo-moos. I'm pretty sure no one has ever felt pretty in a moo-moo!
I do not write any of this for pity. Pity doesn't really help anything anyway. I just wanted my friends and family to know this because I need your prayers, and I need your encouragement. I also need you all to know that we have struggles here. I don't want to post about all of them all the time or you would probably just pool your money together to buy us one-way tickets back home. But struggles are real and deep here, so I needed to share this one with you. Thanks for reading, and thanks even more for praying. Love you all!
Thank you Kathy for sharing your feelings so can all know how to pray specifically for you. You are always beautiful, here/there, pregnant or not, joyful or anxious. Love and beauty shine from you always. Believe and find comfort in this truth. I could offer to buy the one way ticket but I will resolve to let God use you there as long as He wills. You are greatly loved!
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